If you are sick of getting cold messages and party invites on Facebook, then this episode sister girl is for you. Nothing like making a new connection on social media being social, and the first message they send you is, Hey, I thought I would let you know that I've locked arms with X Company and we have an incredible line of clinical grade skincare and makeup at a price normal people can afford.
If you wanna check it out, let me know and I can send you my business link. Uh, I gross. That's an actual message that I got. I took the name of the company out, but I'm guessing if you're a part of this company, which is a new company on the scene in the direct sales space, you know exactly what company this is cuz they're probably telling you to send this copy and paste.
Exact message. Sister Girl, this episode is for you. If this isn't your company, but you're in the direct sales space, this episode is for you. If you're in business and you're using cold messaging, this is for you because there is strategy around how you communicate with people, and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of what I'm seeing, and it has to stop.
So we're gonna address it. We're gonna talk about it on today's. Stop being a spammy Tammy sister, listen to this episode. All right, let's go.
Hey, hey, it's your girl, Emmy Cornwell, Instagram biz coach and social selling expert. Welcome to the Hey, hey, Emmy show. This is a podcast where we talk about all things that will be helpful for you and your business. Everything from Instagram tips and. To health hacks, to relationships, and definitely some Jesus.
Basically everything in between Proverbs 31 and Tupac. I am so excited to party with you in each and every episode because ain't no party like a Hey, hey Emmy party. Can I get nay? Amen. All right. Let's get into it, sister. Hey. Hey. What's going on? How are you? I feel like I'm always laughing at the beginning of each episode recently, because of the hooks and the intros that I'm doing.
Just crack me up because I, I am baffled. Hey, my name is Emmy Cornwell. I'm a personal branding marketing specialist that helps you as a business. Build your personal brand so that you can stand out, increase your visibility, and multiply your sales. And you know how you're not gonna do that by being a S spam and Tammy, and by being like everyone else, and by being a robot and by being a sheep and by copying, pasting, and by not being a normal human being and by having, you know what?
Yeah. Do you have to have balls in sales? Excuse my reference. Yes. You have to be brave and punch fear in the face. You're putting yourself out there. Rejection is possible, but if you do it in a way that is coming from a place of authenticity, a place of adding value to other people, it's not a, it's not a take, take, take mentality.
It's a give, give, give mentality. Then you're gonna be just fine. But there are too many people out there who just don't know better. Partially right. I'm gonna give some credit of doubt or whatever. What's that saying? Benefit of the doubt. That most people don't have the business savvy, the training, the mentorship, the coaching that's actually gonna help them be successful in their business.
Okay. I'll give you that. I guess that's a good job security for me in my coaching business, right? Because I'm, I run multiple businesses underneath my one personal brand and one of the businesses is my coaching business, where I consult and coach and mentor more than just network market. I have clients and students and people who have taken my courses and my coaching and my strategy sessions that are in wedding planning, that are in real estate, that are in loans and mortgage, that are in physical products like the, it runs the gamut, not just direct sales and network marketing, but no matter what industry you're in, you're going to have to network.
We're building businesses, which means we're in the relationship building business, which means we need to be filling our pipeline with leads, people who are going to buy our stuff. And that means you have to get to know people, you have to interact with people. You cannot just post content and expect your bank account to fill up.
Okay? There has to be a strategy where, yes, you are posting content and we're gonna talk about that in today's. That's gonna create organic conversations where you're not having to do cold messages or some of these other things that I'm gonna tell you what not to do if you're using Facebook specifically for your platform.
For your business, okay? Because we're talking about Facebook. Cuz Facebook is still a viable platform to build your business. But people are still doing it wrong. And it baffles me, like literally, I'm like, I took a screenshot of this message I got today and that's what spurred. Episode on actually the last episode two, make sure you go back and listen to it.
I'm telling you essentially what to do in the previous episode. I'm giving you my strategy that you can steal my current Facebook strategy, that you can steal of what you should be doing and how you should operate reading on that platform specifically. And so in today's episode, I'm basically gonna tell you what not to do.
So I'm seeing a lot of people do these things and I don't want you to be one of 'em. Okay? So here's the first thing is. I'm still getting, and I don't know about you. Let me know if this is you too. I'm still getting invites to Facebook parties. Are we still doing parties? Like, is that still a good way to make money?
Are parties and events, if you will, still a good way to make money on Facebook? You tell me. I, it's not a way that I utilize, so maybe I'm missing out, but either way that's not the point. The point is if you are inviting people, If you're just going into your settings, choosing all your friends and hey, invite, like doing a mass invite, there is no personalization to that.
Absolutely none. You're sending a generic message most likely to everyone, and instead of actually taking the time to research each person to know something about each person, cuz you may not know them personally, right? We've established that that's okay on Facebook. It's a networking tool. You may not know them growing up, and so you don't know like every little bit of detail about their life, but you do need to tell your message to their interests and needs.
For instance, I did. Because when you're, you can't just invite, you need to invite with a message. And so if the message is in there and you say something that is really not relevant to the person you're saying in the message, but that, that's a big turnoff, that's a heck no for me. Someone even sent me a message, like I said today about a health and wellness pro product and being like, or company, I actually don't even know what they were sharing with me.
They weren't clear because I don't think they know their process. They're just doing what their upline probably told them to do and their upline's probably not even doing it anymore. Their upline probably did it 10 years ago, and it's still teaching the same old crap. That doesn't work because Instagram, Facebook, social media changes, algorithms.
And get with the times. Okay? People make sure if you're in network marketing, that you do have a mentor or a coach, and that is with the times. It does know what's currently going on in the digital marketing era and with e-commerce and online and algorithms and social media and things like that if you actually wanna be successful.
Now, if your upline's not like that, you need to seek mentorship outside. And I do have a lot of. That are in network marketing that are at different companies. They're not in the same company as mine. Now I do have some clients as well that are in the same company as mine. And gosh, I wish they were on my team, but they're not.
And at the end of the day, I'm still able to help them. But this lady, if she would've tooken any look at my profile, she would've known that I'm in the health and wellness space. Like it's pretty evident. And I even had a client, okay, I gotta read you this message. We're not even into the cold messages, but this goes, it all goes together.
But right now, we're, I'm telling you, if you're gonna invite people to your parties for the love of God, do not network that way. Okay? If you're wanting to make money, stop blindly inviting your entire friends list, your Facebook parties. Networking is done differently. And it's not successful when you try and do it that way.
Okay? You need to build a relationship with a person you're wanting to connect to. So here's a message too that one of my clients got. And I was just like, I don't get offended cause I think you should live an Unoffended life. A great book on that, by the way. It's called The Beta Satan, by John Veer.
If you're constantly offended, you're gonna, you're gonna have a hard, hard, hard. That's a really good book. My name is Blank. I'm an online transformation coach and I help busy women get in amazing shape through their nutrition and training. I have a free e-book, so see it's not just network marketers who do this.
I have a free e-book, and this was on Facebook though I'm giving out, called The Ultimate Guide to a Flat Stomach Tone Booty. And. Ooh. I'd love to send a copy over if you're interested. I always like to ask for sending, okay. So are you saying that I need to lose weight? Are you saying that I don't have a flat stomach?
Are you saying I need a tone, booty and body and that my nutrition is not important to me? I'm just really confused cuz that is offensive. That's the first mess. Okay. Not the first message. Her first message was, Hey name. Thanks for the connection. I hope you're having a great. Then she shared a little bit about herself, which is great.
You're connecting, there's nothing wrong with that. But the part is that this invitation, this messaging, this solicitation of her offer had no personalization. It, she clearly did not take time to take a look at my client's account. And especially when it comes to wellness stuff or anything with skincare, anything that's like vanity or looks related.
Wow. You gotta be careful. I. This lady's lucky she didn't send this to me. You know what? If you send me messages, most likely I'm not gonna ghost you. Cause I'm a coach and I'm in this industry and I'm, I want to ed help educate you so you can do better, which is gonna leave me ultimately to the message I'm gonna share with you that I got today.
And this person still is clueless. I just, I even put like the head shaking, shaking my head. Emoji three times this lady, because she didn't even read what I wrote. She just like kept going, plowing through her whatever process she thought she had. Okay, let's get back to this message from, we'll call her Miss Jade.
That's not her name, but kind of message that my client got cuz we're moving on from invites of parties to not just massively doing that, like send an indivi individualized message, personalize. Make sure you know the person's interest and needs. If they don't need it, which you don't know, if you don't know them or you don't ask them questions, then it's gonna not gonna land, and you're just wasting your time.
There's better things that you could be doing to generate more leads. Okay? Here's the second thing of not what not to do, to be a Sammy Tammy on Facebook, okay? For your business. So let's talk friend request, because you need more friends, you need more leads, you need more network, okay? You need to meet more people.
And should you be doing that in person? Always. This does not negate anything that is done in person. I'm always networking in person. I was networking in person when I worked at pizza and I didn't even have my phone. I say, Hey, what were you on Facebook or Instagram? To a table that I was serving.
They say, yeah, like, oh cool, here's my handle. We should be friends. Okay. So me a message though so I know. Cause I don't have my phone right with me right now. And then I can, you know, we can connect after I get off my shift. Hello? It's as easy as. Like ask a question, the level of success in your business rises and falls with the degree of how well you can ask questions.
And this is so relevant because these people who are sending these messages aren't asking questions. They're making assumptions, and they're making an ass out of you and me, and not even me or you. They're making an ass out of themselves. Okay? Beep, beep, beep. Bleep, bleep. That's about as much smart as you'll ever hear me say Anyways, it's the same, right?
So. Let's talk friend requests. I want you and I teach my clients, and I do this as well, to request friends, to grow your network on Facebook, but I'm not having you go and do this with anyone. Usually it's someone that you have some type of connection with, like five degrees separation, you know, from Brad Pit.
Remember when people would talk about that as a thing? You need to either have mutual friends, you need to be in mutual groups. You, have to have some type of connection piece with. You're not just gonna go randomly friend people, but here's a strategy that you can give or take. Okay? I have a mentor in our social retail business who is the top of the company who suggests doing this strategy.
I disagree with him, and that's okay. It could work for him. He has, you know what? He has a different level of influence, so I'm guessing it does work for him, but also he has different availability. He has different, there's just some different playing rules. People have different playing rules. That's another thing you have to.
About your upline and about other people you're emulating in business that aren't your direct mentor or your direct leader that you're actually getting mentorship from. I have clients all the time who are in the network marketing space, who hire me, who pay me money to lead them and teach them, and I am doing that, but then they're still trying to swim up river because they're their upline and their team and their company's telling them one thing that's most likely different than what I'm telling.
Most companies aren't with it when it comes to social media and sales in the digital marketing space in 2023. So it, that's like a mindset thing. But I'm like, Hey, you're paying me to tell you what's working. Why are you following this person? Why are you doing what this person is doing? Like in your stories, for instance, when you don't even know if it works for them?
You have no clue what their actual paycheck is, especially if they've been in the industry for a long. They're most likely writing off residuals that have worked. They did years and years ago and things were different in social media years and years ago. So if your upline isn't with the times, don't follow something just cuz they're doing something that unquote looks like it's working.
Especially if you're paying me or another direct mentor coach or a mastermind or a course or a class that you've taken that is, is actually proven to. I have the statistic to show you. What I teach you is proven to work for me and the thousands and thousand people that I've coached and trained.
Okay? So let this person, sent my client, sent a friend request to this person and started a conversation. You do not have to. Send a message directly when you friend request someone. But like I said, I have a mentor that I value and respect his business savvy and what he shares. This one I just don't agree with.
I don't think you have to send a message that says, and maybe it's, cause I did this a couple years ago, right? And it just always felt weird. But it was what we were told to do. Hey, I love meeting new people and I see that we both are women in business and I love connecting with other like-minded women.
Tell me more about your business. Does that sound dumb? And just fake? Like, I don't know. It always felt fake to me, and so it never got a good response. There are other organic ways to get in someone's dms, which is where the transactions happen, which where the conversations equals cash, that you don't have to send these awkward like, Hey, thanks for connecting with me, just like this girl did to my client.
Hey, name. Thanks for the connection. I hope you're having a great Thursday now, that wasn't that. But you don't have to do that again. There's, I think, other things that you can prioritize your time with to help generate those leads and other organic ways to get into this person's stamps or messenger in this case, cause we're talking about Facebook and, um, spoiler, in case you didn't know it's stories.
Right. Okay. I've done tons of episodes on this. Tons of content. Go interact with the person's stories and you pop into their messenger very organically. And it's just way. So unless someone, like say a friend requests someone, unless someone messages me first, I don't send a message saying, you know, Hey, for the connection.
I've seen so many bad examples of what interested you about my profile or what led you to connect with me. Now if someone sends that to me, then I will participate in the conversation. Cuz where are we at? We're in a conversation now and so I'll go back and forth.
Like ping pong. It's like ping pong. You serve it by asking them a question. Then they serve it by asking a question with no expectations other than to build a relationship and a connection and to get to know the person, not to sell them on their pro, on my product or services in either of my businesses.
Okay, so hopefully that's helpful in regards to like friend requests with Facebook, you need to be adding more people to your network on Facebook. Okay, here's the third thing. We're gonna talk about cold messaging because, ugh. Oh my gosh, does this really still happened? Literally, I took a screenshot and sent it to Jesse today and I was like, does like, is this still a thing?
This is still a thing. I cannot believe this is still a thing. What did I say? Oh my gosh. I told her I haven't gotten one of these in like as consistently in a long time, and I got one today. And I just was like, wow. So I think it's, it's divine timing that we're talking about this, that this someone else needs to hear.
Because it's happening and it needs to stop. Okay, so here I, I wanna give you the actual example cuz it's mind blowing to me. There's no previous interaction with this person in Messenger. We are friends, we do have Mutual, I don't actually know her, I don't think. Maybe she might have been in the previous co, she might have been in Avocare previously.
I'm not sure. The way she interacted with me today was very old school network marketing and very like blinders like she had. Again, I gave her like the shake my head emoji. Cause I was like, you're just not listening. You're just not listening. I mean, it wasn't for this podcast. Like, if it wasn't for you guys, I would've not continued the conversation.
But I was like, I wanna see where this goes so I can teach someone about this. Hey girl, how's it going? Quick question. Have you heard of a company called Chiari? And I don't usually say companies, but I haven't heard of this one Q U I A R I. It's the new number one global work from home business opportunity that is changing lives by paying people in five minutes all around the world.
If I can show you how to make money every five minutes and get healthier at the same time, would you be interested? Okay, good for her for asking a question. I appreciate it. There's no personalization and there's no value. She's just pitching a product in a service that, yeah, ultimately could be helpful, but that's not how you're gonna know if you're gonna help someone, because that's not the pain point.
And by the way, everyone thinks their company is the best company in the world. If you're not thinking your company is the best company in the world, then that you probably need a different one, right? No one's gonna say, oh, these, these products are all right. You. I promote 'em. They're okay. No, you're like, these are the best products.
Now there, there is validity to that, right? But you have to, you can't just be all about the hype and the promotion of that. That can't be your only marketing strategy. Be like, oh, we're the number one this, and we have the best products in the world. No, that's like fluff. Like, let me see some research.
Let's see. Some like actual results. Let's see some statistics, but you're not even get that far with people. If you're not focusing on them as a person, and I don't know, there's no like, no, like trust factor here, bill, like PS then what are you again? What are you saying? I'm not healthy. And do you know what my bank account looks like?
I don't know. I was blown away. So here's what I said. Hey, hey, happy Monday to you. Thanks for thinking on me, sister. Not sure if you know this, but I'm a personal brand marketing specialist and I help business owners build a personal. So they can stand out and multiply their sales. So one of the big things I teach my clients and students is organic marketing strategies, paired with building genuine connections through their content, establishing the no light trust factor with people, both in their warm and cold markets.
In addition to my coaching business, I do have a business in the wellness space that moves over half a million in sales annually. That's a lot. That's over $500,000 in sales, or not dollars, but It. That's the sales annually that goes through my organization. What's brilliant about this is it pairs the best in network marketing with the best of affiliate marketing, leveraging referral, co-sharing called social retail, and we've just launched a billion dollar product that is revolutionizing women's hormone health.
Ultimately, what I'm sharing with you is there's definitely a better way to build your brand, first and foremost, and then also your business. Let me know if you're open to checking out what I'm up to so you don't have to ever cold message. Now I didn't ask a question about this cause I really am not trying to reverse recruiter, but this is an example of how you can potentially reverse recruit, which is a money hit.
Usually the people that are sending these messages are kind of low level hanging fruit. And honestly, I'm looking for the big dogs. I'm looking for the business women, not just like someone who, I mean, look, I like people who have no fear of cold messaging. That's key in sales to really gotta punch you in the face.
But also like I want people, I don't have to teach how to do some of this stuff. And they're out there. You are out there, you're listening to this right now, and there is potentially an opportunity for you to add in something that is going to help leverage your time and your flexibility in schedule and finances.
That's not gonna interfere with what you're already. Okay. And if that's you know what to do, send me a message. Right? Like, I'm looking for the business women, not just like the boss moms. Now you can be both, but hopefully you hear my heart and hear what I'm saying. This gal goes, what's the info on the women's hormone stuff?
I didn't even care. Right? Like I, I didn't even care if she responded back, but I was gonna tell her like, Hey, there's a better way to do what you're doing. Just so you know, like educating her a little bit about me. About ultimately how I could help her if she wanted to, but this is how good our women's hormone health product is.
Everyone who is a woman, I don't know who does not need this product, it's intriguing to people. I said, honestly, can't think of a single woman who doesn't need this. Here's a quick woman at video to give you a sneak peek. Let me know what you think after you check it out. Sound good? So, I'm walking you through this conversation so you can see how I interact.
I would never have sent her any video, any link, any information if she didn't ask. So that's a teaching point for you. If someone is not asking for it, you don't just send them a link here. She watches it, but before she watches it, she says, is it okay if I also send you one for your feedback?
And I didn't even know what to say. I've typed a bunch of different things. I screenshotted, I sent it to Jesse. Oh my gosh. Does this lady not get it? I didn't answer. She says very interesting. I've actually heard of that one. I'll keep that in mind. Check this out. And she sent some link. I have not yet to click on it.
It says corporate.qari.com, media video. I don't know if it's her product, if it's her business, but that's where I did the three shake my head Emojis like the face palm emojis. And I said, not sure what the video is for. You mentioned wanting feedback. Are you asking for feedback on your sales process strategy or are you wanting me to check out that video to be your customer?
Now, not many people can have this type of conversation. One, this is just my personality. Two, I'm a coach, so I'm essentially doing what I teach you to do. Three, like again, I wanted this to be, this is great material for you listening on the podcast. And sometimes I just need to be entertained. I be, quite frankly, cuz I'm like, this baffles me.
This is entertaining, that this is like, do people think this actually wor, does this actually work? She said, yeah, just an opinion, what you think. Nothing more. Now I again came from a company prior that that's what we would ask people like, Hey, can you just like take a look at this video and just tell me what you think?
But that's still a sales strategy. Because once someone sees something, they can't unsee it. Like, I'm not stupid lady. She goes, okay. So yeah, just an opinion. What you think? Nothing more. She didn't answer my question. I asked a very specific question. I gave her like, are you asking for this feedback or are you accessing for this feedback?
She said, not trying to sell you anything. I said, oh, okay. Gotcha. Opinion on which though, your sales flow or the actual product. Question mark opinion on the video itself, what your thoughts are She. And I said, what is the video of question mark? And she wrote, Mackey, I don't even know what that is. And I'm done At this point, I'm done.
I'm not gonna just click on some random link. Like what you're hoping. She's hoping that I do. Th this. This is maybe her curiosity part. No, that's not how this works, sister. Okay. So that's the conversation that spurred this on. Can you believe people are still messaging this? Hopefully I've shared with you through sharing this specific example, the what not to do, and you can see how you can also have a successful conversation with people despite their naivete and ignorance.
Here's some other ones that my clients have. Hey, I never knew if you heard about the X support going on everywhere now it's called pra. Hey, I never knew if you have heard about the p r s support going on every now. Maybe this person's hoping that you ask, oh, what's p r s? Okay, that's like clickbait, right?
Like, no, this is Stu like stupid. Here's another one. Good morning. Na. Hey, I know Facebook filters a lot, so I thought I would personally let you know that I've locked arms. Oh X company. This is the one that I shared at the beginning. I'm gonna read it again. X Company. We have an incredible line of clinical grade skincare and make up a price normal people can afford.
What does that even mean? That normal people can afford, you know, what people afford what they value, no matter that income, if they're on food stamps or not. Okay? I always prioritize my supplementation when I was on food. And so that's just, I, that's like, that's like the weight loss thing that the other lady sent.
Or like the flat booty or flat tummy. And you don't want a flat booty. You want a peachy booty? Why do you think I go to Bar Girl? If you wanna check it out, let me know and I can send you my business link in quotation or in, um, little like bracket says, no, I'm not a hacker. That's so like, so passive.
Here's also not, you don't end. Messages in Facebook or anytime you're having a conversation with someone without a question, cause that's not that ping pong, it's not that back and forth and people aren't gonna just respond. So again, you're just, this person wasted their time sending this message for hopes for what That they're gonna get.
Low level hanging fruit of someone to be. Oh sure. Send me your link and then goes to you and then you're, then they're on your follow up list cause fortune's on a follow up and then you're wasting time cuz then you're on follow up with this person cuz they weren't strong enough in their own self to say No thank you.
Which is a full, complete sentence by the way. Hey, have you heard about the human health service financial program going on now? Just wild people are wild and so one of my. A clients even asked if you're listening, you know who you are. She said, just curious by sending this, how many people actually take you up on this?
Which I loved. Which was the booty. The booty girl I think. And the girl goes quite a few. Again, these people are lucky. They did not message me, minus that one who sent me earlier today that we talked about that just sent the video. So weird. Okay, so this is all what not to do. You wanna get into people's lives organically through marketing is through your content, and that's through your personal brand.
So swipe up right now, make sure you get my two part exclusive audio training, and it's gonna help you build a personal brand successfully and help you get paid for doing it for just by being. You are not, none of these people are being themselves. They're being robots. They're being sheep. They're being what someone else is telling them to do, which always makes me so sad because the it's, it's not them.
A lot of times, yes, there's ownership in that. At any time someone tells you to do something, you can say no again, no thank you, or that doesn't feel good to me. But a lot of times people are just desperate to get results or desperate for 500. So they're gonna do what they think, you know, successfully clues is what we're told in this industry.
And so they're gonna do what they hear the multimillion dollar say to do, but it may not work for them. This is not a like cookie cutter business. No business is a cookie cutter business. And so you're gonna get into people's lives and you're gonna grow your network and your influence and make connections and build relationships and grow your bank account and make that cash.
By creating content that is built around your personal brand, because it's gonna create that connection, which creates the conversations and conversations equals cash. Okay, sister, girl. So please, if you've ever done any of this, know that you've done some of these things too. And that's how I've learned partly right, that I can't do this cuz it doesn't work and it doesn't feel good and I don't have to.
So I'm not condemning you, so there's no shame and guilt. But when you know better, you do better. So the time is to know better, to do better. And maybe this isn't for you. Maybe you've got this down. You don't do any of this. Well, you know what I like to do, and our pastor at church even talks about this is maybe you were meant to listen to this or any of the episodes really, not for you, but for you to then go teach someone else right in.
In the case of. Maybe it's for you to then be able to go minister to someone else, be able to go help someone else at the end of the day. So it may not be for you. So make sure that you grab a hold of it, put it in your pocket, put it in your tool belt to help your team, to help you know a friend, to help someone you come across so that they don't do this too.
It's just not a good luck at all. Speaking of good luck, you're amazing. You're beautiful. I like your. And what will look beautiful is us together on Instagram. Make sure you tag me. Take a screenshot of this episode, tag me the Hey, hey Emmy. Share it on your Instagram stories or Facebook stories. But again, I prefer Instagram.
It's easier to share. It's easier for me to sh shout you out on Instagram. It's just a better thing. Anyway, so do. Love to hear your tech ways. I would love to hear if you're using Facebook for your business and I am looking to actually have a Facebook expert on the show to interview as well. Cuz although I'm not a Facebook expert, what I'm doing is working for me and my clients and I'm sharing that with you.
But I know there, there are some other people out there that are even more qualified to bring you. Wisdom and nuggets in this area. Plus, I wanna learn, right? Selfishly, I wanna learn from them. So if you know any Facebook experts as well, make sure you DM me. So excited to see you on the next episode.